since then, pains and difficulties has been with me...
so many times i did stumbled...
so many times i was hurt...
so many times i was left behind...

my parents left me when i was 2 years old in the care of my grandparents
from there on...my mom never showed her face...
until now she's still not here...
i don't even know who my dad is...
i grew up in a house in which i considered a jail.
a house which is not a home.
but through all those times...
when everybody left me...
God never did!
i've been a sinners...
but He never abandoned me...

here's one of my favorite song...
i got it uploaded on youtube...
the very first video i ever made...

???


Why do I make it so obvious?
Why do I make it so complicating?
Why do I like you this much?

I'm not trying to be silly?
I'm not trying to be smart?
I'm just trying to be me,
I'm just trying to control my stupid heart.

Is not that I feel guilty
Im feeling really bad.

Not having you by my side,
Being nothing but sad.

Why do you make it so obvious?
Why do you make it seem hard?
Why are you there?
Why are you are so faraway, so far.

Now, you are part of my world.
Now, you are part of my heart.
Why?
I don't really know
Why?

But I know is not me. But
Is it the world around me?
Is it us? Or
Is it the world behind me?

Why me and you?
Why us?

I'm just confused and lost.

FAILURE? ...is not me!


The concept of failure has been prominent in my life;
Nothing has ever come easy, never success without strife.
There have been no smiles without any frowns,
There have been no ups without any downs.
Never any laughter without any tears,
Not one dream without any fears.

What was easy for others seemed impossible to me,
Places others adored, I wasn't meant to be.
I found the perfect place then was pushed out the door;
I couldn't stay forever, I had to find a new place to soar.
So I made my decision and jumped right on in,
My failing days were over, now I knew how to win.
I promised myself that I'd know how to fend;
I'd done it before, I could do it again.

But to my shock and heart breaking pain,
I once again found myself caught in the rain.
This new battle knocked me right off of my throne
And I thought to myself "I should have known".
For all of my life I'd been hit with hail,
It's just who I was, of course I would fail.
But lately I've wondered if it was failure at all.
I may have slipped, but did I really fall?

The definition of failure is not having success;
Which is hardly this case because I've learned from this mess.
I've learned who I am and met life changing friends,
And my chance to succeed has not come to an end.
I couldn't have failed because I still am not done;
I couldn't have lost with all that I've won.
I know where I'm going and what I want to do,
Only I chose to take the scenic route.
And on that path I've seen beauty so great
That it hardly matters that my success will be late.
All that I've been through has led me to see
That the definition of failure is not me.